Some people say they don’t understand why there are people out on the streets, selling drugs or panhandling.

They don’t understand why these people don’t just get a job and fix their lives and be like everyone else. Well, let me tell you why I’m there.

I sold drugs to keep a roof over my head. I chose to sell drugs because at the time, I was on the verge of being evicted. I ended up getting caught, and got evicted anyway, so that didn’t work out so well.

My next move was to a crack hotel. This was a place where all kinds of people who are down on their luck lived, from elderly people who don’t get enough money from SSI to mentally ill people who ended up being surrounded by the wrong environment, to your average, everyday crack head. I, for one, was none of these, but I still endured the environment, because that’s all I could afford.

It cost as much as an apartment, and because you can’t cook in a hotel, I spent 20 dollars a day eating out unhealthy food. I knew at this point in my life that keeping a roof over my head meant staying in this hotel, or getting put in jail. I decided to make a change, so I got a job.

I went to a job fair for ex-felons and got a job working for a security company where I worked night and day, sometimes 24 hours straight. I was able to move from my crack hotel to a more prestigious drug user hotel with a kitchen. The difference is the choice of drug in the hotel was speed or ecstasy, and most people inside the hotel did have a source of income besides the streets.

I did look for apartments in the same price range as I was paying the hotels, but couldn’t get accepted.

Most landlords want you to be making three times the rent, and although I could afford the rent, I was nowhere near making three times the rent. How do I know I could afford it? Because I spent the same amount of money on the hotel room. I also somehow made too much to get approved for low-income housing. So I have a job, but I can’t get a decent place to live.

I’d love to get a higher paying job. As long as I’m only able to get low paying jobs, I’m always at-risk of going back to the streets. But I’m not going to be a security guard, with a security guard’s income, for the rest of my life.

Most people seem to think that a job fixes everything. I’m here to tell you that this, in fact, is not true. The only thing my job gave me to look forward to was how long I would have to starve until my next paycheck. Having a job that does not put food in your stomach and a roof over your head is not a comfortable feeling. Everyday, I was tempted to go back to the streets.

Instead, I decided to go back to school in order to compete with the rigors of society today. I’ve always planned to attend college, ever since I finished my lower education, but I had to wait until I could pay for the education myself, because I knew that if it failed me, I wouldn’t be able to pay back the loans. Even though I am only somewhat in a position to pay for my schooling, I’m at a point where it can’t wait any longer. I don’t want to be in a situation where I just survive, I want be able to thrive.

Starving until your next paycheck is one of the worst feelings a person can have. I’m going to study business, and try to make a decent living.

Now, all of my plans are in jeopardy due to the fact that I am apparently not considered low income enough. Every step of the way, from the housing to the evictions and the low paying jobs, there have been monkey wrenches thrown my way. I’ve ducked and dodged every last one, but the most recent one thrown is going to hit me in my pockets, hard. Thanks to Gray Davis and his educational budget cuts, not only am I not considered lowincome enough for housing, but my low-income-having ass will not be able to afford the increased college tuition.

I was denied a Pell grant and a B.O.G fee waiver (a state fee waiver) because I somehow made too much money last year.I made $25,000. I live in San Francisco. The federal government and state of California (the sixth largest economy in the world) need to realize that people who make approximately $25,000 a year are in fact lowincome, especially living here, where 41% of a family’s income goes to its rent. Whoever came up with the guidelines for low-income must have not been able to add and subtract. They forgot to add the fact that I life in San Francisco, the most expensive city in the U.S., and forgot to subtract out government taxes, which is not considered when determining whether or not I am low income. And this year, I’m looking at making half as much as I did last year, which may qualify me for the waiting list for housing, but in case you didn’t know this, Davis, I can’t sleep on a waiting list.

So here’s my situation. I don’t make enough money to feed myself for two weeks straight, but I don’t qualify for low income housing. I could afford to rent a normal apartment, but because I don’t have 3 times the money, I can’t get one. (Can you imagine if you had to have $15 in order to buy a $5 burrito?) I’m trying to get an education so that I can make three times the rent of a decent place, and the government decides to make it harder for me by raising the costs for school. These kinds of Catch-22s will drive a person crazy. Crazy enough to do something stupid like go on a shooting rampage.

So, I am left with being a day away and a gun short of just crazy enough. If I could afford a gun, I’d be a day closer. The good thing is I still have my life, and I will always make sure that it is a happy one. I always make sure I wake up with a smile on my face, and that helps me get past every monkey wrench thrown my way. For me, life is beautiful in every way, the hardships and the benefits (it ain’t many now). That’s why I will always stay a day away and a gun short of a shooting rampage.

Joe Perryman

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 1st, 2003 at 12:07 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.